A Touching Romance

March 20, 2015 by nancyrose9 1 Comment

Steamy or sweet, erotic or inspirational, most romance novels feature the sense of touch in a prominent role.  There is nothing like fingertips lightly grazing a cheek, lips barely touching, or hands tightly entwined, to communicate closeness between two people.  Romance writers often turn to the sense of touch to add details that strengthen the story and the connection between two characters.  This isn’t true only in fiction, as the same can be said about this sense’s effect on couples involved in real-life love stories as well.

Of course, my last statement assumes that both partners have similar comfort levels when it comes to touching, which isn’t always the case.  We all know some people are huggers and others are not.  One person might be comfortable with public displays of affection, while their spouse might be embarrassed at the thought of others witnessing what they consider to be a private moment.  As with any other romantic gesture, one size does not fit all and individual differences must be taken into account if you want your efforts to bring more romance into your relationship.  For example, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to book a couples massage at a spa if your spouse doesn’t like the idea of being touched by a stranger. Please remember to always keep your spouse’s preferences in mind when considering ways to incorporate the sense of touch into your romantic repertoire.

A simple gesture that goes a long way when it comes to adding romance is hand holding.  My husband and I hold hands everywhere we go, especially on our evening walks around the neighborhood.  I tend to walk much slower than my husband and, without realizing it, whenever we didn’t hold hands, he would easily get ahead of me.  Sometimes it even felt like we were participating in separate activities as I struggled to keep up with him.  There’s just something about us holding on to each other as we walk side-by-side at the same pace that makes me feel more connected to my husband.  This form of touch has spread into other activities, and we often reach for each other’s hands while watching television, across the table in restaurant, and as we sit together in church.

As it turns out, I learned there is a scientific reason for feeling more connected when we hold hands.  I recently read an article about how touch releases hormones into the blood that are responsible for making relationships stronger by making people feel more connected to the person touching them.

Old-fashioned machine I spotted at Disney’s Boardwalk Inn

Hand holding isn’t the only kind of touch that evokes a physiological reaction.  A kiss or a gentle caress opens up the blood vessels under the skin.  Besides all the other benefits of massage, such as increasing circulation, reducing muscle tension, lowering anxiety, and improving sleep, this type of touch also increases affection by causing the release of oxytocin and serotonin, which make people feel more connected.  Plus, massage is an activity that allows you to spend time simply doing something together.  There are many books and DVDs out there that teach various massage techniques you and your spouse can try out on one another in the private comfort of your own home.  Some stimulate the sense of touch even more with the addition of heat, oil, or even an ice cube, slowly melting across the body on a warm day.

Or how about trying a quick activity like running your fingers through your spouse’s hair or closing your eyes and tracing their face with your fingertips?  Not only does this not require any advance planning or special paraphernalia, but it can also enable you and your love to feel a special connection that you don’t have with anyone else, heightening the sense of romance between the two of you.

For more tips on how to add romance to your relationship, please “Follow” this blog and my boards at www.pinterest.com/nancyrose9 .  Remember to “Like”, comment, and share this post.  You may also email me at nancy.rose9@comcast.net