Romance Now, Romance Later

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching.  From grocery stores and restaurants, to windows I pass on my evening walks through my neighborhood, there seem to be hearts everywhere I look.  For those of you who follow my blog, you know that I include a photo of a heart in each week’s post.  You would think this would be the perfect opportunity for me to snap enough pictures to last throughout the year. While it is true there are many hearts out there, I don’t want fifty-two photos of various sized heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and cutout paper heart decorations.  I want something different.

Last week, as I stood waiting at the post office, I found just the thing: mailers.  Large red envelopes decorated with white hearts, offered for sale on a rack of shipping supplies.  After I retrieved my phone from my purse and snapped a quick photo, I thought about how perfect these envelopes would be, not just for Valentine’s Day, but for presenting tokens of love throughout the year.  They would work quite well on anniversaries or any time someone wanted to give something romantic to their spouse in a heart-covered envelope.  The best part was they were not limited to use on one day of the year, since there was no mention of “Valentine’s Day” on the envelopes.

Heart-covered envelope I found at the post office

Similarly, love and romance should not be restricted to February 14^th.  Instead of viewing Valentine’s Day as the sole time during which one is obligated to give their spouse roses, chocolates, a card, or a dinner, I would like to suggest it is the perfect time to stock up on all kinds of romantic items for use throughout the year.

Take the party store, for example.  At this time of year, you can find all kinds of great stuff to use in planning romantic days and nights.  There are paper plates and drink ware covered with hearts for future romantic picnics and dinners.  Heart-shaped balloons and garlands and decorations that say “Be Mine” and “I Love You” can be purchased now and stored away for a surprise date at home with your spouse in the middle of summer. Red heart gift boxes, cookie cutters, cake pans, baking molds, and love-inspired baking cups to make special cupcakes for your special someone.  Or go online and look for bright red paper honeycomb centerpieces with hearts and cupids for a romantic table any time of year.

This is also a great time to look for heart-shaped lockets, bowls, paperweights, pillows, and a number of other gifts that you can save for your anniversary or any time you’d like to add some romance.  Of course, affectionate greeting cards are another item that can be found in abundance this month.  Why not stock up?  In this case, you don’t have to completely steer away from cards that have the words “Valentine’s Day” printed on them.  You can always grab a pen and add a few words of your own, changing the card so that it says something like “Every day with you is like Valentine’s Day”.

Even if you live in an area where there are few stores with Valentine items, you can still find all of these things on the internet.  Putting in a bit of effort now, will enable you to add a touch of Valentine’s Day throughout the year and to keep the fairy-tale romance in your real world marriage.

Please share your thoughts and “like” my posts here and at www.facebook.com/belleoftheballpoint . For more romantic tips and ideas, check out my boards at www.pinterest.com/nancyrose9 .  You may also reach me at nancy.rose9@comcast.net .

Two of a Kind

You might not consider a pair to be much of a winning hand when it comes to poker, but what about when it refers to a couple dressing alike?

The topic of this week’s post came to me after my husband and I attended a Halloween Party, dressed as the King and Queen of Hearts. Before all of you card players correct me, I know those two cards would not constitute a pair in poker, but the two did go together as a couple’s Halloween costume.

We have had our costumes for a few years now. To be honest, when I first purchased them, they were not intended to be worn as his and her outfits.  They were part of a four costume order, which also included a Mad Hatter suit for my son, and Alice in Wonderland garments for my daughter.  I thought the four of us looked adorable and we probably still would, except for the fact that my son and daughter refuse to wear their costumes now.

My King of Hearts

Nevertheless, my husband and I continue to sport our outfits every year, when we go to Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party at Walt Disney World. Unlike my grown children, my husband gladly wears his costume.  In fact, if you ask me, he seems to like it just a little bit too much.

My husband really plays up the whole king thing. Walking regally through the park, responding to his subjects (fellow party-goers who are calling out to him how much they like his outfit), and, this year, even posing for photos with total strangers.  And where am I while all of this is happening?  Standing right there beside him each year (although this year I was in a wheelchair due to a back injury), being completely ignored.

Well, perhaps not completely ignored. Every once in awhile, one of these strangers included me by shouting, “Look!  It’s the King and…and…uh the Heart Lady”.

That’s me. The Heart lady.  Not even the Queen of Hearts.  Just some lady.  Just an afterthought.  I’ve grown so tired of it that I told my husband I want new costumes next year.  Actually, I wanted new ones this year.  I wanted to be Belle and thought he’d make a pretty good Beast.  Not only is Belle my favorite Disney Princess, but I thought the costume would work well with my brand, after all, I am Belle of the Ballpoint!  For some reason, the King didn’t want to give up his crown.

Hubby did concede that I could be Belle if I wanted and he could still be the King of Hearts. Are you kidding?  Those two don’t go together!  He obviously is missing the entire point of couple’s costumes!  I wanted our outfits to match, for others to recognize that we’re together.

I’m one of those people who, over the years, bought matching pajamas for our immediate family to wear on Christmas and identical sweaters for us all to wear on New Year’s Eve. For some reason, it makes me feel like we’re all part of the same team, connected by something visible.

Apparently, I am not the only one who likes this sort of thing. I read about one couple who have worn matching outfits for 35 years!  They buy fabric and sew masculine and feminine versions of similar garments, cut from the very same cloth.  The couple says they like to dress alike because it makes them feel connected.

In China, there is a new trend in which couples wear matching outfits as a way to display their love, in much the same way that people in other countries wear wedding rings. Hearing about this reminded me of the words spoken by the pastor at our wedding ceremony when my husband and I exchanged rings.  The pastor said our wedding rings were “an outward, visible symbol of an inward spiritual grace”.  Maybe it is a version of the same kind of thing for those who like to dress alike.

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of matching outfits, it is important that you do something to display your sense of connectedness and love for each other. Wear wedding rings, hold hands, carry pictures of each other in your wallets and on your phones, get the same tattoos, display matching bumper stickers, or have secret signals that confuse other people because they don’t understand them.

Anything you can think of that will help you feel connected and show the world you are together as a couple is not only worth doing, but will help you find fairy-tale romance in your real world marriage. Take it from me.  After all, I am the Heart Lady.

Having A Healthy Heart For Romance

I have known for some time that oatmeal is supposed to be good for the heart. The brand I buy has the words “Heart Healthy” prominently displayed in capital letters on the container.  I have seen other labels with the symbol of a heart printed on them and information about how, as part of a healthy diet, oatmeal can lower LDL (or bad) cholesterol.  Just in case I missed this information on the packaging, my breakfast pointed it out.  Right there, in the bowl, one of the dried apricots I had hurriedly chopped and tossed into my oatmeal was in the shape of a heart!

Apricot heart found unexpectedly in my bowl of oatmeal.

Despite the fact that I have been finding heart shapes all over the place since I began writing this blog, I was astounded! The first thing I did was to grab my phone and take a photo.  Then I saved the photograph, figuring that someday I would write a blog post to go along with it.  Today is that day.

The idea of keeping one’s heart healthy for the sake of romance hit me on a recent outing with my husband. A few days ago, we went to an event at which a number of the other people in attendance were older than us.  I couldn’t help but notice that about 80% of the other people there were women.  It wasn’t that the event was something men wouldn’t like.  It wasn’t that we had stumbled onto a group of women who were at the high end of the curve that measured the divorce rate.  Almost all of the women there were widows.

These women still have a lot of years of life left in front of them, but no longer have a spouse beside them. Although I know most men have shorter life expectancies than women, the thought of it made me feel sad.

Of course, we never know what is going to happen in life and we can’t control most of the things that do happen, however, I believe we should do our best to be there for our spouse. I believe we owe it to them to take care of ourselves and to try to be as healthy as we can be, not only so we can have more time together, but so that we don’t become a burden to our spouse because of poor choices we have made.

Nothing says, “I Love You”, like your presence. No matter how much your spouse knows that you care about them, I am sure they would rather hear it straight from your mouth in the years that lie ahead.

In the meantime, love one another. Time is precious, spend it together.  Talk, go on dates, surprise one another, have fun.  Do everything you can to find the fairy-tale romance of your real world marriage in the happily-ever-now, because there are no guarantees for tomorrow.

A Heart as Art, Or Art for the Heart

As many of my readers know, I draw inspiration for a large number of my blog posts from various heart-shaped items that I have either found and photographed myself, or that have been sent to me by others. These images have included a potato chip, a clock, a chicken sandwich, a picture frame and everything from a waffle, to an opening in the clouds, to an antique curio table.  The one common feature of all of these items is that they are all shaped like hearts.

It is amazing how, once I began looking for hearts, they started popping up everywhere. A few of my readers have reported the same experience.  So, it was no surprise to me how, on a recent stroll around the House of Blues, it was a small heart embedded in a huge piece of outdoor art that caught my eye.

Close-up of a heart in a work of art

Now, you have to understand, this work was much taller than me. It was made from something like cement and it had all kinds of trinkets planted in it.  Items such as golf tees, picture frames, a seahorse, and sparkly pieces of jewelry adorned the sculpture; yet, it was the heart in the center of the whole thing that caught my eye.

Although my first thought was how the heart contributed to the piece of art, as a writer who specializes in romance, I wondered if the reverse was also true. I considered how art contributes to the heart.

Art is a form of communication. It expresses ideas that often cannot be expressed any other way.  It brings beauty, emotion, and a new way of looking at things to those who enjoy it.  Art can also be an experience that people share and take pleasure in together.  When I thought about it, I realized that all of these features are important in a marriage as well.

Maybe you can learn something more about romance while appreciating art with your spouse. Go to an art museum or a dance performance.  Buy a sketchbook and spend an afternoon drawing each other’s portraits.  Go for a walk together and take photographs which you can later use to make a collage to remember the day.  Read a book of poetry to your spouse and talk about which poems you each like the best.  Take an art class together.  Mix a CD of songs your spouse will enjoy.  Finger paint.  You may find that the two of you have new common interests or, at the very least, something fresh to talk about.  Remember, anything that can help keep your relationship exciting and refreshed is a work of art in itself.

Looking At the Clouds

Have you ever searched for shapes in the clouds, looking up into the sky and finding faces, or dogs, or castles? I am sure most of us have had the experience of spotting big fluffy clouds that reminded us of something else.  Some of these images were quite clear, while others required us to use our imaginations to fill in the missing parts in order to complete the picture.

I was surprised to learn there is actually an organization called the Cloud Appreciation Society. The group has their own website and thousands of people send in photographs of the images they find while gazing above.  The founder of the group wanted to promote an appreciation for clouds and fight the belief by many that blue skies mean something good, while clouds are something gloomy.

Heart in the clouds over East Liverpool, Ohio.
Photo submitted by Jim Talamonti.

I believe that, just like with clouds, people can see all kinds of things when they look at their relationship and at their spouse. Sometimes what they see is an accurate reflection of the person in front of them, and sometimes they perceive an image that is influenced more by their feelings at the moment.

Think about this in terms of your own relationship. During or after a disagreement with your spouse, do you tend to see them in a more negative light than you do when things are going well between the two of you?  Maybe there have even been times when you see your entire marriage as something you should give up on, just because of a few challenges.

Perhaps there should be an organization for marriages that attempts to do the same thing as the Cloud Appreciation Society. Maybe there should be a group that promotes looking for the positive shape we can find, not just when skies are blue, but in the gloomy times of our relationship.  Perhaps we should look up and try to see how we can transform those negative images into something else.  Instead of seeing a problem as something bad that we need to run away from, we could view difficult times as challenges we can learn something from and overcome.

Have you ever looked back on a rough situation you faced in the past and realized that, not only did you survive, but you actually grew in some way because of going through it? That’s what can happen during the gloomy times in your marriage.  You can learn more about your spouse and about yourself.

Remember, the sun will come out again. It always does.  Keep that in mind and put everything together to get a complete picture of the good and the bad.  And remember, it is okay if there is some cloud cover over your fairy-tale romance.  If you look closely, you may just find the shape of a real world marriage hidden within.

Holding Up Your Heart for All to See

I recently attended a special event which began with a reception where an interesting array of African and Indian foods and beverages were served, followed by a performance that included a live orchestra and choir, dancers, film, and a celebrity narrator.  The evening concluded with the best part of all: a street party with live music, more amazing food, performers, and lots of dancing.  It was while I was dancing in the street that I, along with my fellow partygoers, learned the evening was even more special for one couple in attendance.

Photo I snapped of a hand in the crowd during the street festival

After the band announced that this man and woman had just become engaged at the event, the audience cheered and clapped.  Then the couple came out into the middle of the crowd and everyone began dancing while holding their hands up in the air, making a heart shape with their thumbs and index fingers in honor of the couple.  It was impossible to miss how everyone shared, if only for a moment, in the newly engaged couple’s happiness.

I was reminded of this phenomenon again a few days ago, when a former high school and current Facebook friend posted photos, comments, and a beautiful quote in honor of her and her husband’s 34^th wedding anniversary.  All of these posts received many “likes” and comments that showed how happy their friends were for them.  I am sure that you, like I, have seen this play out many times before, when others are celebrating their anniversaries, a date, or some other special occasion with their spouse.  And, for some reason, we all seem to really enjoy these love stories.

If family, friends, and, as in the example of the event I mentioned above, even total strangers enjoy these public expressions of love, just imagine what this will do for your spouse.  Now, I know some of us are more comfortable with public displays than others.  But would you be willing to step just a bit out of your comfort zone to build up your spouse and to make your relationship stronger?

This is one of those occasions in which you can actually use a public forum, such as Facebook, to your advantage.  I have seen some great examples on there: posts in which people compliment their spouse, write about how long they have been together, or come right out and describe their feelings of love.  I’ve even seen videos posted in which the husband performed songs to his wife to let her know how much she is loved!

If that’s not your thing, then even posting a simple message like “I love spending time with my husband/wife” will do wonders to make your spouse feel special.  Of course, you can do this in person, too, making similar types of comments to others in the presence of your spouse.

Whether you are currently starring in your own love story or not, you can still share in someone else’s joy.  The next time you notice one of your friends making a positive comment about their spouse, offer encouragement for their efforts.  Even saying something as simple as, “I’m happy you have someone who makes you happy” will work.

Marriage is not always easy.  Any little action that can have a positive impact on your own relationship or on the relationships of others is worth a try.  Then you, too, will be doing your part to bring together “fairy-tale romance and real world marriage in the happily ever now”.

Please leave a comment on this blog or on my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/belleoftheballpoint

In (or Out of) Sync

Up until now, the expression “Two Hearts That Beat as One” made me think about one of two things: either a couple who was so in love that they were in total psychological communion with one another, or the lyrics from that 80’s song by Stacey Q.  You know, the one that goes, “Two of hearts, Two hearts that beat as one, I need you, I need you”.  Don’t remember it?  Listen to it on YouTube and you will hear it in your head all day long.  I made that mistake earlier today and now I keep singing it and dancing around my house.

Getting back to the point I wanted to make, there is now a new meaning to the phrase “Two Hearts that Beat as One”.  In a recent study done at the University of California, Davis, a psychology professor found that lovers’ hearts beat at the same rate.  Thirty-two couples were hooked up to monitors that measured heart rates and respiration.  The couples sat a few feet away from each other in a quiet room, not speaking or touching.  Not only did they inhale and exhale at the same intervals, but their heart rates were in sync.  When the researchers mixed the partners up and tested a man and a woman together who were not a couple, their breathing did not match and their heart rates did not show synchronicity.

“Keeping Time” Photo of a heart clock I found in a shop

I thought this study was fascinating for two reasons.  First of all, it showed couples sharing experiences on a physiological level.  The researchers also found that women tended to adjust their heart rate and respiration to their partners more than the men did, causing speculation that, perhaps, this was due to women having a stronger link or more empathy for their partners.

But what about sharing experiences on a more observable level?  I bring this up because it seems to be a common complaint of women who read my blog.  I have received emails from numerous readers in the past few weeks about their disappointment and unhappiness that their husbands don’t seem to want to go out and have fun together.  According to research I have done, they are not alone in their feelings.  In fact, “Men who don’t take the initiative in planning dates” came up in the eHarmony website article, “Women’s Ten Biggest Complaints about Men”.  And, just to clear up the misconceptions out there that I have the “perfect marriage” and that I must be married to “Prince Charming”, my own husband has been known to rely on me to plan our dates and even said, “Oh, good, now that you’re writing a blog on romance, I’ll be able to read it and get ideas for romantic things to do”.  I am not joking.  And I don’t know for sure whether he was or not.

There are many stresses and problems out there that chip away at the happiness in our relationships.  Not having fun together doesn’t have to be one of them.  Since the purpose of this blog is to bring together fairy-tale romance and real world marriage, I would like to make a few suggestions.  In consideration of the fact that about one-third of my readers are men, the tips I am offering can be applied to either husband or wife.

First, find out why your spouse doesn’t want to plan/go out on dates.  Are they tired? Ill? Depressed?  Is it an issue with money?  Do they have trouble coming up with ideas of things to do?  Have they just fallen into the couch potato habit?  Don’t answer for them.  You might be wrong.  Ask.

Once you have identified the problem, it will be easier to find a solution. Remember, your goal should be to make things better.  Most obstacles can be overcome.  There are professionals who can help you with the more serious problems.  There are dates that are free or inexpensive if the issue is a limited budget. There are sources for ideas of things to do on dates.

This is just my opinion, but I think the most common cause is that spouses get lazy and simply take one another for granted.  Let your spouse know how much you would like to spend time with them and how important this is to your relationship.  To help get the ball rolling, sit down together and create a date night jar.  Take wooden Popsicle sticks, slips of paper, or anything else you can write on and list ideas for dates like “go out for dessert”, “bowling”, or “take-out and a board game”. You can even use different colors to indicate expensive dates, ones that require more planning, at home dates, going out dates, etc. Then put all of them in a jar.  Agree on a regular weekly date night and ask your spouse to pull a date out of the jar and plan it.  It solves the problem of them having to come up with an idea and, if you set one day each week to do this, it ensures you will be going out together on a more regular basis.

Spending time having fun with each other can help you and your spouse get your hearts back in sync!  For more ideas for the date jar and lots of other date ideas, check out my Romance in Marriage board on Pinterest at www.pinterest.com/nancyrose9  and report back with your results to nancy.rose9@comcast.net

More Than Once

What is a blog without readers?  Those of you who follow Belle of the Ballpoint know how much I value and depend upon input from my readers.  Whether it is by sharing how they met their spouse, submitting their proposal stories, offering advice on what makes it work for them, guest blogging, leaving comments, liking, sharing, or following this site, it is my readers who are helping me achieve my goal of bringing together fairy-tale romance and real world marriage.

Recently, my readers have surprised me with a new way to get involved.  In case you haven’t noticed, each week’s post has a photo with a heart in it.  Up until this point, I have been the one taking all of the photos.  Ever since I started doing this, I have been finding hearts everywhere I go, sometimes in unusual places.  Apparently, I am not the only one who has suddenly begun noticing hearts.  Several different readers have emailed or texted me pictures of hearts they have found in unexpected spots.  The best part is, not only did they pick up on my heart theme, but they snapped the pictures and sent them to me without me even having to ask.  Some of them even seem to be getting as much joy out of finding and sharing the hearts as I get when I receive them!

This week, I am sharing one of these photos (with more to come in the weeks ahead), a photo which actually served as the inspiration for this post.  The photo is of a heart-shaped potato chip.  When I first looked at it, the old advertising slogan “Bet you can’t eat just one!” came to mind.

Photo taken by Cindi Lynch of a heart-shaped potato chip she found in her pile of chips.

How, you may be wondering, does this pertain to romance in marriage?  No, I am not suggesting that, like with the potato chips, you need more than one spouse.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, a supporter of polygamy.  Instead, it made me think about how, in marriage, it is not sufficient to simply fall in love once, when you first meet, and then be done with it.  To keep the romance alive, you must fall in love over and over again.

One of the best ways to accomplish this is to treat your spouse the way you did in the beginning.  Show them and tell them how much you appreciate them.  Make that extra effort to send a romantic text message or an email, letting them know how special they are to you.  Talk to each other about the kinds of topics you enjoyed discussing back when you were getting to know each other.  Flirt with them.  And make sure you take the time to plan and go on actual dates with each other.  It doesn’t have to be something expensive or complicated.  One of my favorite date nights with my husband took place in our family room, where he spread a blanket out on the floor, lit a few candles, and prepared a simple picnic for the two of us.

If you need some date ideas, go to my Pinterest boards at www.pinterest.com/nancyrose9  where, with a couple of clicks on my “Romance in Marriage” board,  you can find tips for recreating your first date, choosing your own adventure date, going on a free bookstore date, creating a date night idea jar, and dozens of others.  Many of the ideas are free or very inexpensive.  Also check out some of my other twenty boards for romantic gestures, quotes, love letters, and the best ideas for picnics with your spouse.  Be sure to follow me at Pinterest as I will be adding lots of new ideas and new boards.  If it is your first time on Pinterest, click on the board you are interested in, then scroll through the different “pins” or posts and click on one you would like to see. Finally, click on the picture again to read the article associated with it.

Most important of all, take the time and make the effort to keep your marriage strong.  Remember why you fell in love in the first place and do your best to make your spouse fall in love with you more than once.

Please leave a comment, “like” this post, or share with someone whose marriage you care about.  You may send original photos of hearts taken by you (Please, no images from the internet) to me at nancy.rose9@comcast.net

Ask Me Once, Ask Me Twice

“Tell him yes.  Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no.”

-Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

The month of June is often associated with weddings.  Although I considered writing an explanation of why this is such a popular month for matrimony or even about the origins of the tradition of the “June Bride”, I decided against those ideas for several reasons.  The history involved is not very romantic, it can easily be found in great detail in many other places, and it doesn’t have much to do with the goal of this blog.  So, instead, all of this month’s posts will focus, as always, on fairy-tale romance as it is found in real world marriages.

Of course, you cannot have a real world marriage unless there is first some kind of a marriage proposal.  I am sure, at some point, we have all heard a story about an incredibly romantic proposal.  One where the guy takes out a full-page ad in the newspaper, spells out the question in rose petals, hires a skywriter, pops the question on the Jumbotron at a stadium, or hides the ring in some decadent dessert or a glass of champagne.  But what exactly is it that makes the perfect marriage proposal?

The question of marriage came up between my husband and I after we had spent the day casually window shopping at a diamond wholesaler where one could design their own ring settings.  I had read about the place in a magazine and suggested we go there just for fun.  I guess my less-than-subtle hints must have gotten through, because that very night, while eating dinner at an Italian restaurant, my boyfriend leaned closer and, speaking over my plate of pasta, asked me to marry him.

At first, I laughed.  When I questioned whether he was serious, he assured me he was.  I said yes and we sealed the deal with a kiss.  After we finished our meal, we went to several jewelry stores.  That night we found the ring.

Even though I was excited, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that the proposal wasn’t really his idea.  I kept thinking the only reason he asked when he did was because I had suggested we look at diamonds earlier in the day. Although we both excitedly shared the news with family and friends and began planning the wedding, I voiced my concerns to him on a few occasions.  He tried to brush my worries away by saying he had been thinking about proposing to me for weeks and that he loved me so much that he didn’t want to wait any longer.  He said that was the reason he asked me when he did, so impulsively and without much fanfare.

I stopped mentioning the subject, but the doubts still reared their ugly heads from time to time, causing me to wonder if he really wanted to propose to me when he did.  Despite my feelings of insecurity, we decided on a wedding date only six months out, which didn’t leave a lot of time to handle all of the details.  Working together, we managed to get everything set.

The evening before the big day, we held a rehearsal in the atrium of the botanical gardens where our wedding would be taking place.  Afterwards, our families and the wedding party joined us at a lovely rehearsal dinner in a private banquet room in the very same restaurant where we had dined the night my husband-to-be proposed to me.  Sometime after the Chicken Saltimbocca and the Chocolate Zuccotto Cake, my fiancé stood and began speaking.  Expecting him to thank everyone for coming, I was completely astounded when he told everyone in the room that he hadn’t proposed to me properly the first time.  He said he loved me, that he wanted everyone in the world to know how much he loved me, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  Then he got down on one knee, in front of everyone, and asked me again to marry him.

Of course, I cried.  Of course, I said yes.  And this time, it felt to me like it was clearly all his idea.  His body language, words, and tone of voice exuded a sureness that left no doubt this was what he wanted to do.  It displayed all of the qualities of the perfect marriage proposal.  There was an element of surprise.  There was a nod to tradition in his choice to get down on one knee.  He couldn’t have chosen a more romantic location than the site of our wedding rehearsal dinner which also had the sentimental component, since it was the same place where he asked me the first time.  It even had the wow factor of a public declaration of his love.  Overall, I’d say it was a very loving and romantic proposal.  But mostly, I would say it was perfect because it was exactly the right proposal for me.

What was perfectly romantic to you about your proposal?  It doesn’t have to be well-written but it does have to be true.  Just email all of the details to nancy.rose9@comcast.net  Stories will be edited by Belle of the Ballpoint™

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The Heart of a Love Letter

Affection spills onto a page, 

Is folded up and sent away,

My heartbeat punctuates each line,

The theme repeats, “Love, please be mine”     

-Poem by Michael K. Madsen

Tonight, as I looked through my bookshelves, one title in particular caught my eye.  A copy of Wallis and Edward: Letters 1931-1937.  More information was detailed on the bottom of the cover in the subtitle, The Intimate Correspondence of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor.

The book, one of many printed companions I became acquainted with at a used book sale held at the local public library, called to me the first moment I read its name.  I knew immediately that this book would be filled with romance and emotion as real as the hard cover of the book itself.

For those of you unfamiliar with the history of this couple, King Edward VIII fell in love with an American divorcee named Wallis Simpson.  The fact that he wanted to marry a woman who had two living ex-husbands was quite scandalous in the U.K.  Rather than give up the love of his life, Edward chose, instead, to abdicate the throne.  He married Wallis six months later.  His brother took his place as king and named Edward as the Duke of Windsor and Wallis became the duchess.

The book is a compilation of letters Edward and Wallis wrote to each other from the first time they met until they became husband and wife.  As the blurb on the dust jacket boasts, “Perhaps the most romantic documents of our time, they chart the course of Edward’s overwhelming passion for Wallis, dramatically illuminating the mystery of their attraction.”

This description certainly sounds enticing.  It sounds as if reading these letters would shed light on some private, unknown secret about love, itself.  For some reason, it got me thinking about why people like to read love letters as much as they do and even made me wonder if a search for some hidden essence of love is at the heart of it all.

Of course, people enjoy reading how much someone cares for them.  They like compliments and being told they are special.  But it has been my experience that it is almost as if the reader is looking for deeper insight when they are reading a love letter.

There is just something about a note in your loved one’s own handwriting, a type of intimacy that comes from getting a glimpse into a part of who they are through their penmanship, their choice of words, and the style of writing unique to them.  Even something as small as knowing he or she held the very same piece of paper in their own hands, like fingers lightly caressing your face, can help you feel more of a connection to your loved one.

When I read a love letter, I tend to scrutinize it more closely than other things I read.  I study each word very carefully, making sure I don’t miss anything.  Sometimes I read it over and over again.  Sometimes I even read between the lines trying to figure out the emotion implied in the writing.

Tonight, I told my husband about the subject of this week’s blog.  In response, he wrote a love letter to me.  The words were beautiful, filled with descriptions of stars and the moon and the universe.  But looking deeper, past the words, beat the pulse of the heart of the matter, the essence of love.  He gave something up for me, sacrificing his time to make the effort to communicate how much he loved me.  But, more importantly, he let down his guard, removed the armor of self-protection and allowed himself to become vulnerable enough to reveal his heart.  Putting his feelings in writing turns them into something tangible, something that now exists on its own out in the world.  That is the heart of love, taking a risk and giving up something for someone else with no expectation of anything in return.

Why don’t you put pen to paper, dip into the inkwell of your heart, and give your spouse a glimpse of what is hiding between the lines.  Write a sentence, a small note, or a full page love letter.  Sacrifice a moment of your time and give the gift of love.